You messed up. And god, this time you really screwed everything.
You lost her you know? You changed her for another. But she’s nothing compared to her, you changed 100 bucks for a penny and you think you made the right choice but you didn’t.
You will never get her to watch her read, or laugh, or smile. You won’t get to know that she is smart. Oh lord she is so smart, but she likes to act like a fool you see? She will laugh at the stupidest jokes and then she will pretend she didn’t understood. She would smile as a kid and would look at you as if you were perfect, though she knows for sure all of you flaws.
You won’t get the chance to know her, because you never intended to.
And the worst thing is that you broke her.
She will pretend she’s fine and lie to herself. She will forgive you, and she will forget you, but she will also hate you.
Because you didn’t deserve any of the love she gave, and you will realize.
You will miss her. Her hair, her eyes, the way she walked and talked and laughed. And you will come back, as you did so many times before.
And she won’t be the girl you knew. She will be a stranger, with no reason to love you again. She will walk by without looking at you because you couldn’t see the beauty in her, you lost your chance to deserve everything she could’ve give you.
You will miss her. God. You will miss that girl.
You messed up.
sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants